Chapter 15
(A trip to Okayama)
(Scene opens on Heero and crew's ship)
Heero: What's for dinner?
Ryo: Dinner?
Heero: ...darn it, I knew we should have taken that box of jelly doughnuts.
Ryo: We still have your pixie stix.
Heero: Hey! Back off! Those are mine!
Ryo: Fine. We'll go shopping tomorrow.
(Dr. J enters)
Dr. J: Hey guys, I need you to do me a little errand.
Heero: Get back to work.
Dr. J: That's just it! I need a piece of cabuondium to finish the shields.
Trowa: Are you insane?!
Dr. J: If you’re still asking that question, Trowa, then I’m not too sure you should be judging the sanity of others at all.
Trowa: …haven't you heard that cabuandium is the key piece to the portal devices the Pokemon come from? Everyone's been hording it for years! It's impossible to find!!!
Dr. J: I don't care! I need it for the gundams!
Heero: Wait. Are you sure you need it for the gundams and not just some of the other crap you've been working on?
Dr. J: You saw all that?
Heero: We have a camera in your room.
Dr. J: Really?
Heero: It's on a tripod in the middle of the floor.
Dr. J: Oh that thing. I’ve been using it as a hat rack!
Heero: You don’t have any hats.
Dr. J: Well, none that YOU can see.
Heero: …So far you've built a 3-speed blender, a 50 megaton warhead, a bunch of other crap I can't identify, and (this one I don't understand) a pair of torn running shoes.
Dr. J: They bring me luck!
Ryo: He's saying "Are you going to use this for the gundams, or your own insane devices?"
Dr. J: I swear, it's for the gundams!
Heero: ...fine. We need food anyway. We'll land on the next planet.
Trowa: Did anyone hear me?! I said it's impossible to find!!!
Heero: It's true, they have been gathering up every scrap of cabuandium out there. However, it's not likely that they've taken it from the old, broken products in a landfill.
Ryo: What do they use cabuandium in?
Trowa: I think it was once used in a brand of blender...
(Everyone stares at Dr. J)
Dr. J: I already finished that blender!
Heero: ...but are you going to build a new one?
Dr. J: No! ...but get some extra, anyway. I could always use a rare and highly unstable element.
Heero: ...hey, wait a minute. When did you learn to build things like this? I thought all you knew how to make were Gundams.
Dr. J: When I was brought back to life, the boundless knowledge of all of creation was bestowed upon me. And then I went insane!!!
Heero: ...why did I even ask?
(They land on the next planet about 2 hours later)
Tenchi: If those are more women, I think I'm going to shoot myself.
(The ship lands in his front lawn. Heero and company walk out, lacking Dr. J.)
Tenchi: Thank God!
Heero: Hello. We're sorry for the intrusion. We need a place to stay, and we're out of money and food.
Ryo: Please say you have food!
Tenchi: Sure, we have plenty. Come in. Make yourselves at home.
(They walk in. Tenchi walks off. Aeka and Reyoko are watching T.V on the couch)
Aeka: Oh! Who are you? Are you people lost or something?
Heero: I've been lost ever since the day I was born.
Aeka: That's so very sad.
Heero: Yes it is.
Ryo: Hello ladies! You're looking good.
Aeka: Pig!
Reyoko: Get lost!
(They blast him. He flies across the room. He gets up looking very pissed)
Ryo: Grrr. Armor of Wildfire-
Heero: Ryo!
Ryo: Huh? Oh…right.
Heero: We're their guests. It's not polite to do battle in their house.
Ryo: Sorry. I'm not used to women blasting me. They usually just slap me.
Trowa: That's the kind of thing I'd expect from Duo...
Aeka: Oh, you're friends of Tenchi?
Heero: Well, not really, we're just staying here tonight.
Aeka: Oh, well I'm Aeka and this is Reyoko. Please enjoy your stay at the Masaki house!
Reyoko: Be quiet little miss manners.
Aeka: At least I have the common courtesy to greet our guests!
Reyoko: Oh yeah?! Blah blah blah!
(Boring argument ensues. The gang walks away. Their stomachs lead them to the kitchen, where they find a little girl)
Trowa: Hello there. What's your name?
Little Girl: Sasami.
Trowa: What are you doing, Sasami?
Sasami: Making dinner.
Trowa: Why's a little girl like you cooking when there are full-grown women in the next room?
Sasami: You mean my sister and Reyoko? They suffer from a disability.
Trowa: What's that?
Sasami: Laziness, idiocy, sloth, incompetence, that sort of thing.
Trowa: I see…
(They return to the living room to find Dr. J crawling toward Aeka and Reyoko. They are curled up on the other end of the couch, looking very scared)
Dr. J: ...and it turns out I had the detonator the whole time! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, hi Heero!
Heero: Didn't you build a lock on your door?
Dr. J: Well, yes, but it was very faulty.
Heero: Get back to the ship.
Dr. J: But me and these fine ladies are enjoying a story of my life!
(Bullet whizzes by his head)
Dr. J: Well then ladies, I’m afraid we’ll have to finish this the next time Heero lets his guard down. Farewell!
(Dr. J leaves)
Aeka: Who was that disturbing man?
Heero: Dr. J. He's insane, but you probably noticed.
Aeka: I see…what did you say your name was?
Heero: My name is Heero Yuy. This is Ryo Sanada and Trowa Barton.
Aeka: Uh, nice to meet you…um, do you normally fire your weapons indoors?
Heero: With him around, almost daily.
(Dinner bell rings)
Sasami: Alright everyone! Come and get it!
(Everyone sits down and eats)