(The dream machine)
(Scene opens in the Masaki house, late morning. Everyone except Washuu is gathered in the living room for a goodbye)
Tenchi: Well, thanks for coming by! Feel free to stop by again if you're in the neighborhood!
Trowa: We don't plan on passing by here again, but we appreciate your hospitality.
Tenchi: Ok then. Goodbye now!
All the women: Goodbye!
(As they are preparing to leave, the door to Washuu's lab explodes. She bursts out, slightly charred)
Washuu: I've done it! I truly am the greatest genius the world has ever known!
Washuu Puppet1: Hurray for the genius Washuu!
Washuu Puppet2: All hail Washuu!
Tenchi: Now what?
Washuu: Do you remember that machine that made everybody's dreams come true? The dimension tuner?
Tenchi: You mean the one that sent us hopelessly spiraling through dimensions for days?
Washuu: Yeah that's the one. Anyway, I rebuilt it!
Tenchi: What?! Why would you rebuild such a horrible thing?!
Washuu: Relax! I worked all the bugs out this time. The machine will only listen to one person at a time, and it won't combine peoples' requests like last time...so who wants to test it?
All the Women except Washuu: ...Me first! (And they all run shouting into Washuu's lab)
Ryo: Hey! Let's go check this out!
Heero: We should really get going.
Ryo: Aw, come on!
(Everyone else enters Washuu's lab)
Aeka: I wish Tenchi were mine!
Reyoko: No! I wish for Tenchi!
Kiyone: I wish Mihoshi were dead!
Mihoshi: No! I want to be with Kiyone forever!
Reyoko: I wish I were the most powerful being in the universe!
Aeka: I wish you were dead!
Sasami: I wish everyone would stop fighting.
(The machine does it's best to absorb the requests being mindlessly shouted at it)
Heero: ...so what did you say this machine does?
Washuu: Well, it creates an alternate dimension with the specifications you put into it. In a way, it makes your dreams become reality. It wasn't easy to build, but with my genius, it was manageable! Oh, and your friend Dr. J helped too. He's pretty good too.
Heero: (Angry/scared) Did you say that Dr. J helped you build that machine?
Washuu: Yes.
Heero: EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM THE MACHI-!!
(But it was too late. They are hurled through time and space, arriving in a magical land of gumdrops and happy things. Psychedelic plants and animals run abound spreading happiness, as well as some slightly disturbing dancing clowns. The air sparkles with magical happiness. Heero, Ryo (in full armor for some reason), Trowa, and Washuu appear in a happy field)
Ryo: Where are we? And why am I in my armor?
Heero: This must be Sasami's world.
Washuu: This can't be! I worked all the bugs out of it! How could this have happened?!
(A screen with Dr. J appears in midair in front of them)
Dr. J: Hi everyone!
(Heero draws his pistol and aims at the screen, but holds his fire)
Washuu: Dr. J, what's going on?
Dr. J: Well, your machine was too boring and orderly, so I decided to add a little chaos and make it more interesting!
Washuu: You tampered with my machine!? I’ll kill you!!!
(Washuu runs at the screen like a deranged leprechaun. She passes through it)
Heero: Let us out, Dr. J.
Dr. J: Well that wouldn't be any fun, now would it? Tell you what. If you can find me on each of these worlds, I'll let you out.
Heero: You do realize that once we find you, you'll be dead before you have a chance to send us to another world, don't you?
Dr. J: Oh fine! You just have to find me once. Deal?
Heero: No games, Dr. J.
(Heero fires, but no bullet comes out)
Heero: Hey...this gun is made of plastic! Ryo!
Ryo: I can't! My swords are made of rubber!
Heero: Damn you, Dr. J!!!
(All the happiness suddenly stops, and everything turns slowly to Heero. The clowns begin to walk up, patting nightsticks in their hands and stroking sledgehammers. The sky turns dark and crimson)
Trowa: This doesn’t look good.
Clown: There is to be no vulgar language in this land of happy things.
(The clowns begin to dance around them and some evil clowny music begins to play. A bolt of lightning strikes, transforming the clowns’ smiles into evil, menacing grins in the flash)
Heero: Um...I...uh...
Washuu: KILL EM'!
(And so they attack. Heero fights, Trowa does some acrobatic attacks, and Ryo just plain dominates. Eventually, all the clowns are dead. Then the planet begins to shake)
Ryo: What's going on?
(They look up and notice a large meteor crashing towards them)
Trowa: There’s nowhere to run!
Ryo: I'll try my Flare-up Now!
(Ryo attempts his Flare-up Now. The swords melt from the heat of the meteor)
Ryo: Damn!
(More clowns come up)
Ryo: Oh, go to hell!!!
(The ground beneath the clowns opens and they fall into the flames of hell)
Ryo: Uh...good.
Washuu: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!
(As the aura of flame surrounding the meteor comes inches above their heads, they are plunged into a dimensional warp. Surrealistic scenery flies by as they all scream)