Chapter 20

(Tokyo town)

(The gang disembarks the subway train and leaves the station)

Trowa: I'll go ask for directions to the dump.

(Trowa leaves and talks to some people on the street. The sounds of marching are heard in the distance. Heero and Ryo look down the street and notice an army of pokemon approaching. The army consists of about 60 different pokemon and 3 humans, shouting out orders)

Heero: Looks like we're in for a fight.

Ryo: Alright! I've been waiting to test my armor. Armor of Wildfire!...um...

Heero: (sigh) Dao-chi.

Ryo: Oh, right. Dao-chi!!!

(Ryo dons the armor of wildfire. As the army draws nearer, the Sailor Scouts + tuxedo mask come up and begin fighting. Trowa notices the battle and throws Heero his pistol, then joins. Begin sailor moon style battle. Heero and Trowa shoot things with their pistols, the sailor scouts do what they normally do, and Ryo has fun slaying them all)

Ryo: I haven't felt this good in years! But I guess it's time to end it. Flare up now!!!

(Ryo does his flare up now. All the Pokemon are incinerated, along with a large portion of the city)

Last standing human: You monsters!!!!!

(Human is shot)

Ryo: Yeah!

Sailor moon: Wow! You're really strong! Thanks a lot! But who are you…and did you really have to destroy the city?

Ryo: Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I haven't used that power for a long time and I forgot how to control it. We're just some travelers, off to join Frieza's army. I'm Ryo, and this is Heero and Trowa. Who are you lovely young ladies?

(They all blush)

All together, striking poses: We're the sailor scouts!

Ryo: Ok...so what do you do?

Tuxedo mask: We defend this planet from evil forces. Recently, though, we've been having trouble with the Pokemon. We can't hold them off much longer.

Heero: I'd recommend leaving the planet. But if you intend to stay and fight, you might want to try using shotguns or something. Firearms work well against most of them.

Tuxedo mask: Thanks for the advice. We're going to stay and fight until the end!

Trowa: By the way, do you know where Tokyo dump is?

Sailor moon: It's about twenty miles south of here.

Trowa: Thanks. And good luck in your battles!

(The gang hijacks a bus and drives to the dump. The police, however, notice this time. A high-speed chase ensues with a pantless red policeman. Heero and Trowa are out of ammo, and Ryo doesn't want to decimate the remainder of the city. They continue until they get to the dump. They plow through the gates, stop on a pile of garbage, and jump out. The police car, unable to stop, smashes into the bus. Red guy screams as both vehicles explode. The gang makes it out ok.)

Ryo: Man! That was close...what are we supposed to be doing again?

Trowa: We're supposed to search the trash for a piece of cabuandium.

Ryo: We're going to dig through trash...for Dr. J?

Heero: For our gundams.

Ryo: (sigh) Alright. Let's get going.

(They begin to dig, but are interrupted by three kids)

Eddy: Who are you guys?

Ed: No Eddy, watch out! They're evil space aliens here to eat our sausages!

(Momentary silence)

Ryo: ...uh…

Heero: Run along kids. We have work to do.

Eddy: Hey! For your information, we own this dump!

Ryo: Hey, they're poor just like us!

Trowa: You live here?

Eddy: Well...yeah! And admission is five bucks!

Heero: The last person who asked us for money was a spaceport operator, and I’m not sure he lived through the night.

Edd: Eddy, let's just leave these people alone.

Trowa: Don't you have parents?

Eddy: We used to live in a nice neighborhood, but the kids got fed up with us and shipped us to Japan. We ended up here.

Ryo: Then I guess it wasn't a very nice neighborhood, now was it?

Trowa: Ryo! Do you kids want us to take you home? We have a ship.

Edd: Really? Please, get me out of this unsanitary hole in the ground!

Ed: A hole in your soul can only be filled with tomato paste.

(Gang stares at Ed)

Ed: Oh no! It's the alien's evil death gaze! Save me Eddy!

Eddy: Get a grip! They're going to help us!

Heero: Before we leave, we need some cabuandium.

Edd: I know of some! I found it in a transistor radio!

Ryo: Great! Show us!

(The Eds take them to the radio and present them with an almost paper thin piece of 3 by 5 cabuandium)

Ryo: Alright! This is plenty!

(Heero gets on small hand held radio)

Heero: Come in Washuu. This is Heero. Do you copy? Over.

Ryo: Hey, where did you get that?

Heero: It came with the ship.

(Dr. J responds)

Dr. J: Hi Heero!

Heero: Dr. J, where's Washuu?

Dr. J: Oh, she's right here. I'll put her on.

(Washuu gets on)

Washuu: Hi guys, how'd it go?

Heero: Good. For a minute I was afraid Dr. J had taken over the ship.

Washuu: Oh, no. We've been having lots of fun! We designed some new weapons for your ship, and we were testing them out!

Heero: ...on what?

Washuu: Just a couple major cities and planets. No biggie.

Heero: ...you're just as crazy as Dr. J, aren't you?

Washuu: Hey! That wasn't very nice!

Heero: Could you just beam us aboard?

Washuu: Sure, whatever.

(They are all beamed on the ship. They immediately notice Dr. J at the controls and Washuu bound and gagged)

Heero: Oh, now it all makes sense.

Dr. J: Oh, hi Heero!

Heero: How did you get loose?

Dr. J: Well, Washuu left an open bottle of trichloral monoxide in-

Ryo: What?

Heero: Chloroform.

Dr. J: Yes, she left an open bottle of chloroform in my lab, so I beat her over the head with it!

(Long, long silence)

Dr. J: ...what?

Eddy: Who is this guy?

Ed: He reminds me of the mad scientist from "I was a teenage Chemistry Experiment on planet Science Project".

(Momentary silence and stare)

Ed: Ah! They're doing it again! Help Eddy!

Heero: You don't want to know him.

(Trowa unties Washuu)

Trowa: I told you he was tricky.

Washuu: But you didn't say he was completely insane!

Trowa: Wasn't that a given?

Washuu: I thought he'd at least have the sense to try to use the chloroform! In which case he would have found me immune to it and I would have zapped him with a tazer and laughed.

Dr. J: I've had so much fun today!

Heero: I'm sure you have.

(Heero punches out Dr. J)

Heero: Washuu, do you think you could build a lock to keep him from getting out?

Washuu: I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing he could get loose!

Heero: Good.

(Washuu builds an "impenetrable" room for Dr. J in about 2 hours. Then they drop off Washuu and the Eds, both of whom very thankful. Then they leave and continue on their course)

Trowa: Did anyone remember to get food?

(End chapter in silence)