Chapter 21

(Dr. J!!!)

(Scene opens in cockpit. Ryo and Trowa are standing there. Heero enters)

Heero: What is it?

Trowa: We've found a small problem.

Heero: Does Dr. J have anything to do with this?

Trowa: Most likely. It seems that we've been going in the opposite direction of planet Frieza this whole time.

Heero: Then where are we going?

Trowa: We're going to this planet, which is represented on the map as Dr. J's head. It's called planet J.

Heero: Dr. J!!!

(A planet far in the distance suddenly crashes into them instantaneously. Miraculously, the ship is not flying debris hurdling through space)

Trowa: How did that happen?!

Ryo: Where are we?

Heero: How did we survive?

Trowa: Uh oh. This is planet J.

Heero: I guess we'd better look around.

(They leave the ship to find the planet inhabited by people who look exactly like Dr. J. They all look at Heero, start waving, and saying "Hi Heero" over and over)

Heero: Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

(Planet mysteriously explodes. Heero wakes up)

Heero: Ah! What? ...Must kill Dr. J!

(Heero sneaks into Dr. J's room and shoots him in his sleep. An alarm rings. The others come running in)

Ryo: What's happening?

(A screen with Dr. J on it descends form the ceiling)

Dr. J: Hi everyone! If you're watching this, it means I've been killed. I'm guessing it was Heero! Anyway, I've linked the ship's self-detonation device to my life. You have about 10 seconds to live. I'd like to take this opportunity to entertain you with a song I wrote.

(Dr. J begins to hum a clowny tune. The ship's voice sounds)

Ship: Self-detonation activated. Ship will explode in 10, 9, 0.

(The ship explodes. Heero wakes up, very disturbed and panting.)

Heero: Ah! What's happening to me?!

(Heero's world suddenly fades to white. He sees images of Ash and the pokemon spreading fire and destruction throughout the universe. He sees the faces of the terrorized civilians and those killed in the war against the pokemon. He sees the minds of the weak being numbed and controlled be Ash and his army)

Heero: My enemy is...pokemon. (Shows picture of Ash)

Heero: My enemies are pokemon...and Dr. J. (Shows pic of Dr. J waving)

Heero: Hey, wait a minute. This is...this is the Zero system!

(Heero wakes up. He searches his pillow and finds an odd device with a floppy disk labeled "Zero" inside. On the bottom of the device, it reads "Property of Dr. J". He leaves his room to find that it's 8:00 in the morning. Ryo and Trowa are watching T.V. He goes to Dr. J's lab; the others follow him. They find him working on some non-gundam related explosives)

Heero: Dr. J, did you, by any chance, install the Zero system in my bed?

Dr. J: Why yes! I'm glad you noticed! You must have had some interesting dreams!

Heero: (fist clenched so tight it’s bleeding) Alright. You've just about out-lived your usefulness. I'm going to jettison you if you don't finish those gundams by...now!!!

Dr. J: Alright!

(Dr. J presses a button by the door. A machine activates and completes all upgrades on the gundams in 10 seconds. Heero looks ready to snap)

Heero: You had time to build a machine to build the gundams for you AND you didn't use it, when you could have just built them yourself?

Dr. J: Actually, I had that done before we left Titania! I was saving it until you got really angry, so I could see the expression on your face. You should see yourself! You look hilarious!

Heero: Well then, Dr. J, you no longer have a use to us. Goodbye.

(Heero prepares to shoot, but Ryo and Trowa stop him)

Ryo: Heero, we can't kill him! He still has uses!

Heero: But they're not worth the trouble he causes.

Trowa: No Heero! He's the only one who knows how to repair and work the shields! If we get rid of him, then the gundams will only be useful for a few battles!

Heero: I guess you're right. (Flash scenes of dream with ship exploding) He'd probably find a way to get back at us, anyway.

Dr. J: Wow! That was a close one! Now can I continue to work on my mindless inventions?

(Heero punches out Dr. J)

Heero: Maybe we should fill his room with a periodic stream of knockout gas.

Trowa: Too expensive.

Heero: Damn. Well then let's just beat him every-so-often.

Ryo: Won't that give him brain damage?

Heero: I think his brain is already as damaged as it can be.

Trowa: Well, he hasn't escaped since Washuu built that lock, so let's just leave him alone for now. He'll be occupied with his machines.

Heero: Alright...Trowa, could you check that we've been going in the right direction?

Trowa: Why?

Heero: Just do it.

Trowa: Ok...

Heero: And check that the ship's self-destruct hasn't been tampered with.

Trowa: This ship doesn't have a self-destruct.

Heero: Make sure Dr. J didn't install one.

Trowa: Sure thing. Oh, and Heero, you might want to check out that hand. Looks like one of your veins exploded, and you seem to have suffered massive blood loss.

Heero: Nah, it'll be fine.