Chapter 35
(The final battle)
(Wing Zero is still in the air, taking Heero and Ryo to...well, actually they don’t know where they’re going. Ryo sits loosely in the hand, the new hull plating melting only slightly. The land below is barren and broken, apparently having sustained some damage from inter-stellar particle weapons. Either that or Ash just hired a really bad grounds keeper. Whatever the cause, it makes it easier to see over the horizon, and determine that there is nothing in every direction for miles)
Heero: (To self) This is hopeless. The battle could be over by now.
(A slightly broken communication sounds)
Trowa: Ryo, Heero, can any...ear me? I repe...nybody copy? Over.
Heero: Trowa, where are you? Your signal is weak. Over.
Trowa: Heero? Where’ve y...een? Over.
Heero: Give me your coordinates so we can get closer. Over.
Trowa: Roger that. Sen...ow. Ov...
(Heero heads towards the coordinates he receives, and soon obtains visual contact of Trowa’s gundam)
Trowa: Where have you been? How did you survive the atmosphere?
Heero: Later. Where’s Frieza?
Trowa: He’s probably fighting Ash by now. Follow me; I know where it’s happening.
(Heero follows Trowa to the site of the battle. They arrive just in time to find Frieza disembarking a small transport pod, escorted by Zarbon and Goku. Ash stands silently about 20 feet away, wind rippling over the royal robe covering his battle attire, which consists of the hat and vest that he always wears)
Trowa: Looks like we’re just in time!
(They land a safe distance away and rush to meet Frieza)
Frieza: Hm? Oh it’s you, the armor guy! I was almost certain you’d perished in space. Guess you’re stronger than you look.
Ryo: Am I too late for the opening battle you promised me?
Frieza: No no, you’re just in time! Please, be my guest. (gesturing toward Ash)
(Ryo walks toward Ash)
Ryo: Alright Ash, your evil reign of stupidity ends here!
Ash: Huh? Hey, who’s this? Are you afraid to fight me yourself!?
Frieza: Try to understand; this boy thinks he can defeat you, and I thought it might be entertaining to humor him. So have some fun, then we’ll get started.
Ash: Oh fine. Alright then, let’s-
Heero: Hold on everybody.
(Heero takes out a pistol and shoots Ash square between the eyes. The bullet hits, crushes itself against Ash’s face, then falls to the ground, without even making an impression in Ash’s skin)
Heero: ...ok, just checking. You’re up, Ryo.
(Heero and Trowa seek safety behind Frieza’s group)
Ash: (removing his robe) You know, you’re doomed.
Ryo: Shut up and fight, moron.
Ash: Alright, you’re asking for it.
(The ground beneath Ryo explodes, launching him into a forward summersault. Upon landing, Ryo wastes no time in drawing his swords, and leaping furiously at his opponent. Ash, who isn’t exactly an experienced fighter, is taken by surprise. He jumps back, but gets his vest cut)
Ash: Hey! Aren’t we supposed to talk for a while, then-
(Ryo makes another two swings, then whirls around quickly, like a helicopter. Ash just barely dodges)
Ash: Alright, that’s it! Now I’m just gonna-
(Ryo attacks again. This time, Ash forms an energy blade. A fountain of brilliant sparks erupts as their swords clash. With his one energy saber, Ash fends off Ryo’s onslaught, seemingly with ease. Heero and Trowa stare in amazement as their friend begins moving faster than they can follow. They are equally amazed when the fighting breaks, revealing Ash to be unscathed)
Ash: Is that it?
Ryo: You may be fast, but you have absolutely no skill. You’ll screw up eventually!
Ash: No skill, huh? Taste this! Pokeball!!!
(Ash fires a ball of energy, similar to Brock’s Poke-beam. Ryo cuts it in half effortlessly)
Ryo: Tastes like...stupid.
Ash: Aagh! Grr...DIE!
(Ash jets straight toward Ryo at blinding speed, and slams a fist into his armored gut. Ryo is flung 30 feet back. Ash grips his melting hand and howls)
Ash: Ooowww!!! What the hell is that made of?! Look at my hand! It’s dripping!
(Ryo get up, more or less unaffected)
Ryo: My armor embodies mankind’s will to fight evil. I will quell the flames of the wicked with the blazing inferno of righteousness!
Ash: (still gripping his hand, talking in a pained, straining voice) Evil? If you’re looking to conquer evil, then why don’t you go fight Frieza?
Ryo: Because he isn’t leading a hundred trillion people to the collapse of civilization.
Ash: Don’t you know? How he taxes his people to the point of starvation? How he forces them to pay homage and obey his every whim? And if they fail, he kills them?
(Everyone turns to Frieza, wondering how he will respond)
Trowa: Is that true?
(Frieza stands silent for a moment, looking quite serious)
Frieza: ...I was given a universe in chaos. Not a single planet had established a steady government. I had no choice but to take what I needed, and to dispose of those who threatened my order. It’s true that I was once a heartless tyrant. There was a time when I enjoyed killing, and maybe I still do, but at least I know how to run an empire. So don’t come whining to me about your taxes, unless you’d rather fight a fruitless war for millennia. As it is, this child has caused damage that may take decades to finish sorting out.
Ash: Do you believe the words of a tyrant, or an innocent child?
Ryo: Tough choice, but I think I’ll go with my gut and kill you. Flare up now!!!
(The hilts of Ryo’s blades meet. He spins his dual bladed sword and sends out a wave of fire energy. Ash leaps straight up as the attack cuts a ditch in the ground into the distance. Ash descends upon Ryo with a powerful stab. Ryo dodges the poorly thought out attack and does a roundhouse to the side of Ash’s chest. Ash effortlessly, and with bewildering speed, blocks with his arm, and engages Ryo. Ash takes on the advance, pushing Ryo back step by step. After a short spurt of fighting, Ryo finds a fist slamming into his right cheek. He skids across the barren, dead ground. He gets up with a bloody nose)
Ryo: Damnit! If I only had some fire energy...
(Frieza looks intrigued)
Frieza: Hm? What are you babbling about?
Ryo: My armor is strengthened by fire. If I could get even a little…
Frieza: Fire, hm? Ok then, what the heck, I’ll help you out…ha. Haha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
(Frieza throws his head back in maniacal laughter. Flaming brimstone rains from the heavens, covering the battlefield. Ash gets hit with a few pieces, but finds his senses and puts up a shield. Ryo’s armor protects him from the rock, and absorbs the flame. Everyone else hides behind Zarbon’s barrier)
Heero: How in the...
Ash: What is this?!
Frieza: What, can’t you make fire rain from the sky?
Ryo: (thinking) Whoa. Maybe I really am outclassed here. But I can’t give up! (end thought) Thanks for the boost, Frieza! Now, let’s settle this Ash.
(Ryo concentrates, committing himself to pouring all his energy into this next attack)
Ryo: Rage of Inferno!!!
(Ryo’s soul swords of fervor erupt in a stream of white fire. Ash extends one arm and meets it with an unimpressive energy beam. They clash for about five minutes. Sweat pours down Ryo’s head; an aura of flame surrounds his white armor. Ash appears bored)
Ash: Alright, I’m tired of this.
(Ash puts out a minimal effort and overwhelms the struggling Ryo. The warrior is engulfed in the blast, and sent flying back.
His armor protects his body from melting, but his energy is spent. Ash decides to finish him with a heavy downward kick from 50 feet in the air. A crater results, filling with the blood flowing from every opening on Ryo’s face. Ash prepares to destroy the unconscious Ryo)
Frieza: That’s enough! The boy is done. Now it’s time to start the REAL fight.
Trowa: Someone, go help him!
Frieza: No. He made his decision, and now he must live with it...or die by it.
Ash: That fight was insulting!
Frieza: Oh, I don’t know. I’d say you could learn something from him. Too bad he had no idea what his place was...
Ash: Well, he’s just a dumb boy, like you!
Frieza: ...a 12 year old is calling me “boy”? And that made no sense regardless. Do you enjoy making yourself look stupid?
Ash: ...grrr! RRRAAAAA!!!!
(Suddenly, Heero’s ship lands)
Dr. J on loud speaker: Hi Heero!
Heero: DR. J!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. J: I got bored, so I decided to help! (button pressing noise is heard)
Strange voice from loud speaker: Send in...the clowns...AAAAAWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA HAW HAW HAW!!!!!!!
(Dr. J’s army of robotic clowns marches out carrying squeaky hammers, long balloons, and seltzer bottles. Clowny music begins. They dance in circles around Ash, and begin beating and spraying him)
Ash: Ah! Ah! No! Stop!!! Help me!! Noo-hey, wait a minute. This doesn’t hurt.
(Ash blows up the clowns)
Dr. J: NOOOO!!!! My clowns!!!! Now you will feel my wrath!!!
(Dr. J presses a button labeled “Dr. J’s wrath”. A laser pops out and moves in front of Ash’s face. It glows blue and radiates with energy. The ground quakes, and rings of energy move around the point. After 10 seconds, a rubber duck flies out at low velocity, hitting Ash’s head, quacking on impact)
Ash: Ow. What the?...
Heero: Get down!!!
(Heero and Trowa dive behind a rock)
Goku: What’s the big deal? It’s just a rubber duck.
Heero: Whenever Dr. J does something, it tends to explode...
Ash: What the hell was that?
Dr. J: Oops. Wrong button.
(Dr. J presses a button labeled “Dr. J’s REAL Wrath”. With no charge time at all, the laser fires a concentrated beam. Energy surrounds Ash and explodes. But the smoke clears, and Ash is only slightly hurt)
Ash: Ouch! That hurt!
Dr. J: Uh...gotta go!
(Laser retracts and Dr. J takes off, landing a safe distance away)
Frieza: (annoyed) Does anybody else want to fight this kid?
Ash: Enough stalling! We fight now!
(Ash rushes at Frieza, fists in front, trips on a rock and falls face first on the ground. Frieza smacks his forehead and shakes it)
Frieza: Get it together. Or did the warm up waste the remainder of your intelligence?
(Ash gets up, his face red with embarrassment and anger)
Ash: Why you...you’ll see!
Frieza: Oh I doubt that. You see, I have a machine that allows me to train for as long as I want, in a single instant, without aging. Now I’m about 100 times more powerful than when we first fought.
Ash: Oh, I knew about that.
Frieza: You what?
Ash: That’s why I didn’t even show you a fraction of my power the first time.
Frieza: You WHAT?!?!?!...oh, I get it, you’re joking. Maybe when this is over I’ll make you into a jester. You could keep Goku company.
Ash: Is he a jester too?
Frieza: ...Your ignorance puts me at ease, so we’re going to stop talking now and fight.
Ash: At ease, huh...?
(While Ash is pondering how to exploit his stupidity, Frieza slams a painful fist into his face. An impish grin spreads across Frieza’s face. He pounces forward with insane speed, ramming his dainty elbow into the downed Ash’s ribs, crushing him into the ground. The emperor straddles Ash’s chest, raising one of his fists to strike him in the face)
Frieza: Oh, I’m going to enjoy this!
(He smirks, and brings another fist down hard upon Ash’s face. The youngster feels as if he’s been hit in the face with a meteorite, for stars are all he sees. The next thing he knows, he is lifted up from the crater...by his head. Frieza’s hands tighten around his cranium like a vice. Suddenly, Ash spins around in Frieza’s grip, extending a sneaker into his face. Frieza loses his grip and sails across the ground)
Ash: Ow! My face! You were never able to do that before!
Frieza: (getting up) I told you I’ve been training. And if I were you, I’d be pretty worried after that last scuffle.
Ash: Oh would you? Well, maybe it’s time I got serious!
(Ash fades out of sight, surprising Frieza, then reappears behind him. A hard knee is drilled into the tyrant’s spine, causing him to curve over. Frieza stumbles backward, where he trips on Ash’s foot. As Ash prepares to drive a glowing hand through his abdomen, Frieza twists himself out of the way, and slaps Ash across the face with his tail five times, following this up by wrapping it around his neck and slamming him into the ground)
Frieza: *cough* Not bad, but you have no idea what you’re dealing with.
Ash: (gets up) Neither do you! RAAAAAA!!!!!
(The ground quakes as Ash powers up. They rocket toward a head on collision. A five minute DBZ style fist fight ensues. Both come out bruised and bloody)
Frieza: Eat Frieza beam!
(Frieza extends his finger and unleashes a tempest of red beams. Ash swiftly dodges all of it while accelerating toward Frieza to counter. Frieza changes his strategy and launches twin cutting discs, cackling menacingly as they seek their target. Ash karate chops them, reducing them to glowing red sparks)
Frieza: WHAT TH-!!!
(Frieza’s surprise doesn’t last long. It ends about the time Ash’s elbow hits his face. He catches himself in mid-air, not far back, and prepares his next attack. He puts his hands together in a prayer-like position. A chilling blue glow slowly radiates between them. The sweltering temperature of the sun-bleached battlefield begins to drop rapidly. A polar wind sails through, radiating from the malevolent lizard-like figure, causing the spectators to shiver. Ash watches with curiosity. Frieza suddenly stretches his hands to the sky, and shouts)
Frieza: DIE!!!
(Huge chunks of ice explode from the blue ball he was forming. Ash dodges the first wave easily enough, but the rest home in. Ash takes a couple of lumps, but soon finds that blocking them isn’t painful at all)
Ash: What kind of attack is this?
Frieza: Oh, you just wait.
(And wait he does! For another two minutes. But in all the mindless ice breaking, Ash fails to notice that the source of the ice is getting bigger. Frieza finally throws the massive blue sphere, flanked by miniature glaciers. Ash slowly fades from view as he is consumed by the icy blue light. His screams of pain suddenly cease as his body becomes encased in ice)
Frieza: Now you’re mine!
(Frieza soars toward the falling ice block, and slams his fist into it. It shatters into pieces)
Frieza: Ahahahahahahahaa!!!! Too bad, I was hoping to leave a body. Oh well. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
(Ash appears behind him)
Ash: Not bad. You almost had me.
(Frieza looks scared for a moment, but his expression soon reverts to angry frustration)
Heero: How did he do that?
Goku: Ash moved so fast that he passed between the molecules in the ice. It’s hard to imagine, I know.
Frieza: You impudent child! Speed won’t save you from me!
Ash: That’s what he said (points to Ryo). Now it’s my turn!
(Another DBZ style fist fight breaks out. Afterward, Ash withdraws and brings his arms to his side and begins powering up. His scrawny muscles bulge, and his body becomes incased in a blue aura. The sky darkens, and the ground begins to tremble as small pieces of debris gravitate up to meet the fighters and are reduced to dust)
Trowa: Now what are they doing?
Zarbon: Ash is powering up for some big attack. Don’t worry, we’ll keep you shielded.
(Ash throws his head back and screams as the power he has summoned surges through his body. A tempest of wind, paired with wave upon wave of spiritual force nearly blows the spectators away. The surrounding earth shatters, and whisks itself into the distance. Ash’s scream fades to an echo, though the quakes do not falter. Ash spins his hat, and goes into that anime thing he does before he throws a pokeball)
Ash: Pokemon Flash!!!
(Ash finishes his spin and hurls a crackling ball of energy at Frieza, similar in properties to the Poke-beam. Frieza puts up his defense, but rather than the ball colliding with him as he anticipated, it explodes before him. The sudden release of energy casts Frieza and company into the horizon. The searing might of the attack tears bits of flesh from Frieza’s body, adding burns to his already bruised and bloody physique. He slams into the ground with tremendous force, and bounces for several feet. The proud emperor slowly picks himself up from the puddle of lavender blood forming beneath him)
Frieza: (strained) Your attack is strong and flashy, but it’s really just a waste of energy, and...stupid.
Ash: The blood coming out of your right eye argues otherwise.
Frieza: That’s my left eye, you imbecile.
Ash: ...shut up!
Frieza: Child...
(Frieza composes himself, restoring his voice to its former haughtiness and arrogance)
Frieza: I almost pity you for what you’re about to experience...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Do you hear me boy?! It’s over! Your life ends here!!!
(Frieza clenches his fists, jumps into the air, throws his head back, and screams at the top of his lungs. An enormous gust of wind explodes through the wasteland as Frieza releases his anger. The viewers look on in worry and fear as the gusts become stronger. The dust of the fallen hills and mountains ascend to the sky’s mad calling. Soon, the dust begins to take shape. A cyclone, whose size and strength have never before been matched on this planet, erects itself over the torn landscape. Ash is taken by surprise by the speed in which these events take place. The all-consuming winds draw everything in. Rubble, plants, whole plates of ground are taken up by the roots. Fortunately, the Pokemon Flash attack sent Heero and crew far enough away to escape. Wind and dust tear across Ash’s flesh, ripping holes, and gradually sanding him down. He flies through the air, huge clumps of debris slamming into him at speeds around 350mph)
Zarbon: We have to get out of here!!!
(Zarbon and Goku grab Heero and Trowa and take flight)
Heero: Wait! Get Ryo!!
Zarbon: No time!!!
Frieza: And now...for the attack...
(Gas lines, which lay under distant streets, are now exposed. Entire power plants, bomb factories, and everything else within 72 square miles, have been sucked up. The towering maelstrom is highly combustible. Frieza takes advantage of this by launching a small fireball in the general direction of forward. It is drawn into the mad gale. The sudden release of heat, sound, and energy causes the tectonic plates to shake violently, resulting in cracking and shattering, as well as planet wide quakes. The trembling planet seeks to vent its wrath upon the mad Frieza, but in its rage only serves to aid him. The ground separates and ascends into the dark sky. The bowels of the earth are vomited to the surface in the form of blazing red magma. The intensity of its glow in this ever-darkening land is astounding. The exploding pillars of liquid rock join the tornado in its deadly spin. After the immediate heat and blinding flash of the initial explosion passes, a raging column of whirling fire can be seen from space, ruling the sky as an unquestioned sovereign. However, Frieza isn’t quite satisfied yet.
Lightning flashes and thunder claps. The massive storm has drawn in every cloud from legions around. A dangerously heavy downpour ensues. That is, it would be dangerous if any of it ever saw the ground. The rain (and well as many of the clouds themselves) is drawn into the greedy monster, giving it a threateningly black color. The lava begins solidifying, probably on Ash, creating larger obstacles. Although half immersed in water, much of the blaze still continues. Now, it is prepped for the next strike.
The sky grows increasingly menacing. Lightning streaks and flails outward at a rate unseen in nature. The storm focuses its attack on the terrifying funnel, striking various parts of it, much of these parts being Ash. The electrical energy travels through the rainwater, shocking everyone and everything within (still Ash). Frieza watches and waits until sufficiently satisfied that a very painful and crushing blow had been dealt...before finishing the attack with one more phase.
Frieza closes his eyes, ignoring the chaos and shear madness outside, and summons his energy. Over the howling insanity, the fearsome din of Frieza’s vigorous cry can hardly be discerned. With another whisper in the devastation, he focuses his power into one final attack. Moments later, an unfathomably large column of energy explodes upward from the base of the cyclone, which has taken on the properties of a demon. Surely screams of fear and pain would be echoing though the vociferous sky, if the hellish wailing of the torrent weren’t controlling the realm of sound.
Frieza grins, and decides that this is enough. Nothing could possibly have survived that magnitude of force. Frieza makes a cutting motion with his hands. As quickly as it formed, the cyclone is gone. Overhead, dust, fire, and rock rain down. Frieza stands on what remains of the battlefield: a barren crater, torn with several volcanoes. The sky gradually clears.)
Frieza: *Pant* Ha. *pant* Haha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! That felt so good! *pant* There’s no way any part of him could be left. *pant* I wonder if I went a bit too far...I'm going to pretend I didn't say that...Hm hm hm...heh heh heh...AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!! Ha *gasp*.
(Frieza collapses to the ground and lies there. Heero and crew fly the many miles back to the center of the battle site)
Zarbon: Master Frieza, are you ok?! Get up!...You did it Frieza, you did it!
(Heero stares into the endless crater)
Heero: Unbelievable...
(Frieza stirs)
Frieza: (strained to a whisper) Uh...huh?...haha. Of course I did. Did you ever doubt me?
Zarbon: Of course not sir! Here, let me help you up.
Trowa: Peace again at last.
Heero: Ryo...you sacrificed everything just so you could be true to yourself...you won’t be forgotten. May you rest in peace.
(Frieza returns shakingly to his feet)
Frieza: Don’t give up on him yet.
Heero: He was stronger than we all thought, but there’s no way he could have survived THAT. You know that as well as I do.
Frieza: Oh, I don’t know. I took some pity on the poor dope and sent him to the top of the tornado. And all that fire and lava I poured into it may have given him enough strength to survive the fall. He’s probably out there somewhere.
Heero: Really? Well, thanks! Trowa and I will go find him. I guess you’ll want to be getting back soon.
Frieza: Yes...
(Frieza walks to the edge of the crater and stares)
Frieza: You’ve truly given me the greatest challenge I’ve had in ages. It was wonderful fun. We’ll have to do it again sometime. Hahaha!
Ash: That can be arranged.
(Frieza’s face becomes possessed with raw fear. The group turns quickly to find themselves face to face with the heavily battered boy-child of their nightmares. Blood pours from charred, flaking skin. His cloths are shredded and burned (except for his hat), resembling his body. A blood-drenched lock of hair drips over two frozen, unrelenting eyes. Frieza backs away slowly, almost stumbling back into the pit)
Frieza: It...it can’t be...
Goku: What is he?
Ash: I am Ash Catchum, Pokemon trainer extraordinaire, friend to human kind, and the most powerful being in the universe!
Trowa: Are you the same Ash Catchum who was banished to the land of Fire and Death by the Nintendo world?
Ash: What?! Who told you that?!
Trowa: So it is you! But how did you escape? And why are you all-powerful?
Ash: So I guess you’ve been to the Nintendo planet, huh? Well, you should know that the land of Fire and Death down there isn’t the one I went to. It’s a side effect of the joining. The world I spent two hell filled years in was not included in the joining. For two whole years, I burned in a flame that attacked my soul. But my Pokemon friends weren’t affected. They helped keep me sane...and alive. But on that fateful day three years ago, the joining came and released me. Not from the world, but from the horrible, endless nightmare I’d been trapped in. See, even though we weren’t involved directly in the joining, our dimension was kind of “next door”. I don’t know how, but when the joining hit, I woke up, and had super powers! My scientists think it had something to do with my body chemistry, the strange flames, and the unpredictable nature of the joining. With a little practice, I figured out how to use most of my powers. I was feeling pretty angry and hurt, so I built an army of pokemon. They breed very fast, so I had a few trillion in a week. Two years later, some crazy guy accidentally opened a portal and set me free. And so here we are!
Frieza: ...Zarbon, make a note. When this is over, put a much closer watch on mad scientists.
Zarbon: Right sir...
Trowa: So this is all because of a fluke?
Ash: Not really. I’d say it was destiny. I was meant to lead this world to a new golden age!
Frieza: Golden age? You’re putting the entirety of society under mind control and leading them to the eventual collapse of civilization! You call that ‘destiny’?!
(With this, Ash punches Frieza in the gut. He bends over, blood exploding from his mouth, and then gets hammered into a crater in the ground. He does not rise.)
Zarbon: Master Frieza!!!
Ash: It’s all over! You should have never come back. I’m a much better ruler than you are anyway! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!
(While Ash is praising himself, the Pope runs up behind him, whacks him over the head with a golf club, tosses the bent club away, repeats 8 times, and runs for dear life. Ash falls unconscious)
Trowa: ..................Um..........
Heero: Uh.........
Zarbon: That was the Pope. Back when Master Frieza fought Goku, he hit him over the head with an enchanted baseball bat, making him less evil. I suspect this is something similar.
(Ash gets up, clutching his head)
Ash: Ow GOD!!! That hurts!!! Which one of you did that?!!
Heero: Hey Ash, how do you plan to run your government?
Ash: What? Um...with pokemon?
Heero: I guess they don’t cure stupidity.
Goku: So what do we do now?
Zarbon: I don’t know...his power is beyond anything I could have imagined...I guess the universe is doomed. We’ve failed.
(Elsewhere, in a crater not far off)
Clown: *honk, honk*.
(Um…in another…crater…)
Ryo: (thinking) Virtue!
(The symbol of virtue appears over Ryo’s forehead. Struggling, he pries himself from the ground, bits of rock clinging to his white armor. He spits out the blood left in his mouth and wipes some debris from his face. He marches wearily toward Ash. He walks up behind the child and hits him over the head with the hilt of his sword, knocking him flat on his face)
Heero: Ryo!
Trowa: You’re...walking!
Zarbon: How in the-
Ryo: My armor is self-healing. You guys get clear. I’m gonna finish Ash.
Heero: Ryo, have you got brain damage? You didn’t even come close to hurting him the first time!
Ryo: Heero, I can’t run away. I won’t let him do any more damage than he’s already done. It’s my responsibility to try and stop him, whatever the odds!
Heero: I understand, Ryo. Good luck. You’ll need it.
(The crew walks away, leaving Ryo to fight with Ash)
Zarbon: Your friend’s crazy; you do know that.
Heero: There’s a fine line between bravery and insanity. Neither samurai nor soldier knows such a line.
(Ash gets up)
Ash: Damnit!!! Hey, didn’t I just kill you?
Ryo: Shut up and fight, moron.
Ash: Didn’t I beat you hard enough the first time?!
(Ash launches a fury of ki blasts at Ryo. He puts on a stunning display of speed and skill as he dodges and destroys them with his blades. While he jumps around, Ash levitates a huge chunk of ground and sends it careening into the warrior. Ryo points his sword straight out, piercing into the enormous hunk of debris, though this fails to hinder it in any way. It slams into him with crushing force, throwing him back for several yards and burying him into the ground. Ash looks on in mild satisfaction, and starts to leave, when the sound of the rock exploding catches his attention. Ryo emerges, already looking tired, and marches back to meet his enemy)
Ash: (whining) You’re no fun. And I’m tired of fighting.
Ryo: Too bad!
(Ryo runs headlong into his opponent. Ash creates a long, red rod of energy and another sword duel begins. It goes on for a short while with Ash yawning his way through it. After a short time, Ash simply increases his speed, moves between Ryo’s swords, and smacks him across the face. He compliments this by driving an energy beam into Ryo’s armored chest, leaving him in a scorched crater)
Ryo: *cough, cough* Man! Ancient, give me strength! I must stop this evil! *cough* If only my friends were here...
(Suddenly, the other 4 Ronin warriors appear in full armor)
Sai: Hey Ryo!
Sage: How’ve you been?
Ryo: Guys...am I hallucinating?
Sai: Nope. Ronin teleport.
Ryo: What?
Rowen: Didn’t the Ancient One tell you?
(Ancient One appears)
Ancient: Oh Ryo, I forgot. Uh (start spooky voice), I’ve come to tell you of a powerful new technique!
Ryo: You’re a bit late!
Ancient: Oh...uh, gotta go!
(Ancient vanishes)
Kento: ...so anyway...looks like you could use some help!
Ryo: Sai, did you put them up to this?
Sai: Hey, you didn’t really think I’d let you fight Ash by yourself, did you?
Ryo: But how did you know I was here?
Sage: We’re on T.V., Ryo.
Ryo: What?
Sage: Look.
(Points to Dr. J’s ship with a camera on top)
Ryo: Oh...
Ash: What the hell is this?!
Kento: Shut the **** up you little brat!!!
Ash: Why you-
Rowen: Yah, save yourself the embarrassment!
(Ash fires an enormous blast of energy, which consumes them all. They are all protected from the burn by their armor, but the force of impact causes minor concussions. They rise painfully)
Sage: Aw man!
Kento: I still don’t see how that kid could be so strong!
Sai: Hey, wait a minute...Ryo, how did you get your white armor without us?
Ryo: The Ancient gave me the power to summon it whenever I want!
Sage: So…what would happen if we added our power to yours when you already have the white armor?
Ryo: ...I…don’t know.
Rowen: Well, let’s give it a try!
(The other four Ronins focus their spirits. A sphere of light matching their armor’s color surrounds them)
Rowen: Armor of Strata!
Sai: Armor of Torrent!
Kento: Armor of Hardrock!
Sage: Armor of Halo!
All: Dao-chi!!!
(The ball of light besetting each Ronin bursts forth, spiraling majestically into Ryo. As they collide on his form, his body begins to quake with holy energy, as does the ravaged ground, and his spiritual ki warps into the dimensions of beyond. His eyes become gold with immaculate righteousness, and the purity of his own humanity. The magic of Virtue, Trust, Justice, Wisdom, and Life enhance his heart and excel his might. A dazzling explosion of unnaturally white light shoots from Ryo. The very planet rumbles with this awesome energy. The light solidifies about Ryo’s skin, gradually dimming to a brilliant golden armor. His Soul swords of Fervor now sport pristine golden blades, reverberating with an awe inspiring holy spirit. The gilded Ronin clasps his swords with a killer instinct, stepping forward mercilessly as his speed begins to increase)
Sai: What on Earth...
Sage: I know this! Mia once told me about some new files she found in her grandfather’s diary. They described an armor that shone like the heavens, which would reveal itself only when an insurmountable enemy appeared. He called it the Armor of Sol.
(Ash backs away slowly, overtaken by the enormous power. Frustrated with his own quivering, he regains his composure)
Ash: Grr...you just have some new armor! You’re still way too slow to handle m-
(Ash stops in mid-sentence as Ryo vanishes. He spins around quickly to find a glowing gold fist in his face. He corkscrews through the air and skids across the grating sand. He rises, hands over his melting face)
Ash: You bastard! (Ash’s hands glow blue and heal his face). EAT THIS!!!
(Ash’s rage erupts in a storm of small energy balls, all of which crash into Ryo. After about a minute of this, Ash finally gets tired)
Ash: Ha!
Sai: Ryo!
(But the smoke clears to reveal Ryo is unscathed)
Ash: What!?
Kento: Wow...that’s some strong armor!
Ash: Alright, let’s see how fast you really are!
(Ash forms two energy blades and rushes his opponent. The spectators look on in disbelief as they dart about at light speed, ripping up the ground with every attack)
Zarbon: They’re...terrifying!
Trowa: What’s that...smothering feeling?
Zarbon: That’s their power.
Trowa: Whoa...
(The sword battle continues for another five minutes, and concludes with Ryo kicking Ash in the groin, then slicing him across his neck. However, rather than beheading him, the sword merely knocks him away, his aural shield protecting him)
Ash: (thinking) I know I’m stronger than him. But how can I beat him?...Oh right, I can fly!
(Ash takes to the skies, looking down on the grounded Ryo)
Ash: Now feel my true power! RRRAAAAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!
(Ash fires a massive energy beam toward his opponent waiting below, which would unquestionably destroy the planet should it miss. Ryo joins his swords at the hilt and spins them, as if preparing to do a Flare up now. But rather than a slashing motion, he pulls it back to his side, as if charging a Kamehameha wave)
Ryo: ...Super (echo, echo, echo) Nova!!!
(Ryo extends his spinning blades, and from them leaps a golden beam of size to match Ash’s. They power struggle for a while, but Ryo wins. Ash lands far away, charred and slightly bloody)
Kento: Ha! This’ll be over in five minutes!
(Suddenly, Ash appears in the air behind them, holding Dr. J by the neck)
Ash: Everybody freeze or I’ll kill him!
Ryo: You’d be doing us a favor.
Ash: Don’t act like you don’t care! You want to save him!
Ryo: No, really, we don’t mind. He’s crazy. Besides, you probably couldn’t kill him. He’s, uh...immortal.
Ash: Really?
Dr. J: Huh? Oh, yes! Immortal! Bow before me infidels!
Ash: Aw...
(Ash tosses Dr. J away and blows him up. Metal parts rain down)
Ash: Huh?
Ryo: Robot.
(Ash begins to twitch and lands)
Ash: I can’t lose! I’m the good guy!
Sage: ...this guy was running our universe for HOW long?
(Suddenly, Heero appears in a headlock in Ash’s arms. Zarbon turns in surprise to the spot where Heero was standing less than a second ago)
Trowa: Some protection you two are.
Ash: Alright, this time I’ve got it right.
Ryo: (firmly) Let him go.
Ash: I don’t think so! Now lower your weapons!
Ryo: I...
Heero: Don’t listen Ryo! You know I’m ready to die!
Ryo: But...
(Ryo lowers his swords)
Ash: Good. Now kill yourself and I’ll let everyone go, and we can all go on with our lives...well, except you and Frieza.
(Ryo looks deeply at his swords)
Ryo: ...for my friends...
Heero: Ryo! You can’t let Ash get away! It’s your responsibility to destroy evil, remember?!
(Ryo looks up at Ash, then at his hands. He closes his eyes and clenches his fists. He knows what he must do. Ash holds Heero up as a shield, desperately trying to change the charging Ryo’s mind, but he will not be stopped. With a tear in his eye, he runs his sword through Heero and Ash. Ash lets out a final scream as Ryo charges holy energy through his blade, finishing him and Heero. Ryo slides them off and sheaths his swords. Everyone else runs up)
Kento: (slaps Ryo on the back). Alright Ryo! You did it!
Sai: Yeah!
Goku: Way to go!
Ryo: This is no time to celebrate, guys.
Goku: Oh...
(Frieza manages to crawl out of the crater he’s been in)
Frieza: My boy, that was spectacular! I don’t know where you got so strong, but congratulations! Come, we’ll celebrate your victory (and my recoronation) back on planet Frieza.
Ryo: First we have to bury Heero.
Frieza: Why? For that little scratch?
Ryo: It was enough to kill him.
Frieza: …boy, do you mean to tell me that you killed Ash, but you can’t even sense that he’s alive?
Ryo: What? You must still be dizzy, because I charged him with enough energy to kill Ash.
Frieza: I don’t know how, but he IS alive. But not for long, unless I stop that bleeding.
(Frieza goes to telekinetically seal the hole in Heero’s chest, but stops.)
Frieza: What? Where’s the wound?
Ryo: Huh?
Trowa: Again?
(Heero stirs)
Ryo: Heero!
Heero: (strained)...how am I alive this time?
Ryo: The same way as last time, I guess.
Heero: Dr. J?
Ancient: Not quite.
(All turn in surprise)
Ryo: Ancient! You mean this was your doing?
Ancient: Yep! Just a little something to keep you from giving up. You are as strong as I’d hoped, Ryo of Wildfire. But now you may rest. Peace shall come at last, for all worlds.
Ryo: Thank you, Ancient One.
Ancient: Thank you, Ryo.
(Ancient fades away. Ryo and Trowa help Heero up)
Heero: I’ll be ok.
(Relena and Dr. J exit the ship)
Relena: Heero!
(She runs up and gives Heero a big, teary hug)
Relena: You did it!
Heero: Hey, I just brought him here.
Dr. J: That was some extraordinary armor, Ryo. I should make my own!
Heero: Dr. J, I told you not to come here.
Dr. J: But you needed me!
Heero: You didn’t do anything!
Dr. J: Hey! I hit him with a duck!
(Pope runs up)
Pope: Oh! Praise the Lord you’re all safe!
Relena: The...Pope?
Pope: When Frieza fell, I was sure we were all doomed. But you! I could hardly believe my eyes! God certainly shines upon you...uh, what were you called again?
Ryo: We’re Ronin warriors.
Pope: Ah, yes. Well, thank you noble warrior!
Ryo: Too bad your golf clubs didn’t work. It would have saved us the trouble.
Heero: Yeah. I guess he wasn’t evil, just stupid.
Pope: Oh, those weren’t like the enchanted baseball bat that healed Frieza. Those were my Enchanted Golf Clubs of PAIN!!! (maniacal emphasis on pain)
(Frieza puts his arm around the Pope’s shoulders)
Frieza: (friendly voice) Miiiiiike. We’re friends, right? Yes, well then, (tightens hold, deepens voice) I THOUGHT you told me you didn’t HAVE anymore enchanted sports equipment!
Pope: (Slightly strangulated) I couldn’t tell you! It’s an ancient secret!
Frieza: Well...let’s make sure we only use it if we have to.
Pope: Of course! You don’t need to worry!
(Awkward silence)
Ryo: Well...we beat Ash!
Trowa: ...so what do you want to do now?
(Scene zooms into Heero’s mind. Start mini scene to the tune of “Lazy days ~ Living in paradise” (Big the Cat’s theme music from SA1). Heero, Ryo, and Trowa run up a hill to an elementary school playground and begin dancing on the equipment. Ryo surfs the seesaw, Trowa’s the king of the slide, and Heero dances on top of the monkey bars. Some way into the song, an old woman who’s doing paper work in the school building notices them out the window, makes a horrified face, and calls the police [no voices can be heard throughout this scene]. There’s more dancing, then two police officers arrive. They yell at Heero and shake their fist. Heero responds and makes an explaining gesture, which seems to say “It’s just blah blah”. Then they answer and make a gesture that seems to say “Oh, is that all?”. Then the police join Heero on the jungle gym and dance for a bit more. Then the old lady notices the dancing police and goes out and yells at them. One officer makes the same explaining motion Heero did. The old lady stares blankly and disturbedly at them and resumes yelling. Then the officer shoots her. And they dance some more, until the mental asylum arrives, puts them in strait jackets and drags them away as the song ends. Zoom out of Heero’s mind)
Heero: Nah...
Trowa: So what are we gonna do?
(Silence)
Gang: Loot the corpse!!!
(The three hop on Ash’s dead body and begin taking his valuables)
Heero: I’ve got his shoes!
Trowa: I’ve got his gemstone badges!
Ryo: I’ve got his jewel-encrusted hat!
Dr. J: Can I have his liver?
(The others stare blankly at this shameful display)
Zarbon: ...what are you doing?
Trowa: Oh. Sorry for being rude, but you see, we’re very poor.
Frieza: Well not anymore. I’m giving you all a huge reward and good jobs! You’ve each proven that you’re hard workers and brave warriors. But for now, let us rest and make merry. When we arrive at my palace, there will be a feast the likes of which you could never imagine!
(They all walk off toward Frieza’s toppled and battered ship)
Heero: ...hey Frieza?
Frieza: Yes?
Heero: Do you have any pixie stix?