Chapter 7

(Departure)

Ryo: Heero...

Heero: Yes?

Ryo: ...why is your gundam holding balloons?

Heero: It makes it look cheerful.

Ryo: ...I worry about you, Heero.

(Heero gets in the cockpit, Ryo gets in his compartment, and Trowa sits in the gundam's hand. They fly back to Dr J's warehouse. When they arrive, they find some Pokemon (mostly pikachu) surrounding him and closing in)

Dr. J: Stay back! I'm just a defenseless old man!

(Dr. J then pulls out twin RCP 90s, seemingly from nowhere. The warehouse becomes a slaughterhouse)

Dr. J: Ah ha ha ha ha ha!!! (His ammo runs out) Oh, hi Heero. I see you brought Trowa. How's business?

Trowa: Last night, I almost drown in high tide.

Dr. J: Almost? Oh, that's too bad.

Trowa: ...what?

Heero: Ignore him. Have you finished packing yet, Dr. J?

Dr. J: No, but I-

Heero: Good. We're outta here.

Dr. J: We're not leaving until I find a way to get these walls on the ship!

Heero: There are already walls in the ship.

Dr. J: But these walls have sentimental value!

Heero: Don't make me sedate you, Dr. J.

Dr. J: Oh fine...

(They get into the ship and hit the ignition button.)

Heero: Why aren't we moving?

Dr. J: Maybe this is the rocket whose engine I use as a paperweight.

Ryo: You have papers?

Dr. J: No, but it's good for crushing small animals who sneak into my house at night and gnaw on my slippers. Take that you little demons!

(Awkward silence)

Trowa: I think I see the problem. We're out of gas.

Ryo: Wait...this gauge is painted over the real gauge...which is a sticker...stuck to a painted on gauge...painted over the real gauge. The actual real gauge...which is cracked and has no needle.

Heero: Dr. J, is this ship real?

Dr. J: I don't know. I think it was originally some kind of a merry-go-round.

Heero: Well, that would explain the ceramic control panel.

Ryo: And the canopy roof.

Trowa: And the animal-shaped seats.

Heero: ...let's just try it again.

(He turns the key and hits the ignition again. Nothing happens again)

Heero: Wait! Don't worry guys, I have the solution to all of life's problems.

(He takes out his pistol and shoots the dashboard as he hits the ignition. It miraculously starts)

Trowa: Wow...hey, let me try that.

(Trowa takes out a broken seashell, places it on the floor, and shoots it. It shatters to dust)

Trowa: Aw man…

(They take off into outer space. They discover that the entire planet is surrounded by starships engaged in battle. Some are of Frieza's army, others of the Pokemon army)

Heero: Damnit. They're in our way. Dr. J, is this ship fit for combat?

Dr. J: Oh ho ho! Why, this ship is hardly fit to support life!

(Momentary silence)

Heero: ...ok, next stop is the nearest place we can trash this pile of junk. In the meantime, we’ll use the Gundams.

Trowa: Did you bring mine?

Dr. J: Yes, it's in the back.

Trowa: All right then. Let’s suit up.

Ryo: I would help, if only I could remember the damn words to summon my armor! I think it was something like this: ARMOR OF WILDFIRE...uh...uh...MAOI!!! No, that's not right. How about, ARMOR OF WILDFIRE, COME TO ME!!!

(They fail to be surprised by the lack of mystical armor)

Ryo: Damn! I remember it sounded Japanese...oh why didn't I write it down!!?

Heero: Thank you for dazzling us with your personal problems, Ryo. Now let's go. We can't win this fight, so let's just try to clear a path out of here.

(Heero and Trowa get into their Gundams and fly off towards the closest ship. It looks like a Pokeball)

Heero: What kind of ship is that?

Trowa: Judging from its size, I’d say it’s some kind of carrier.

(They fly toward it. It opens, and releases drone ships shaped like various Pokemon. Begin Gundam Wing style battle. The Gundams are met with weak resistance)

Heero: No. It's all coming back to me! The battle, the meaningless pain! No, no! How many must die before there is peace!!! (Slices a ship in half)

Dr. J: Quite a lot of many, from the looks of it.

Heero: Wait...I didn't have the transmitter on...Dr. J, did you bug my Gundam?

Dr. J: Of course! In fact, I've had your Gundams bugged since the day I gave them to you!

(Heero kills three more things. Battle continues. Enemy ships fire plasma beams, while Heero and Trowa use beam swords. Suddenly, Trowa's Gundam falls limp)

Heero: Trowa! What's wrong?! Trowa, respond!

Trowa: (sounding weird) Pokemon…will live…forever.

Heero: Trowa, what's wrong? What the hell are you saying!?

(Trowa begins attacking Heero with his sword)

Heero: Trowa, you traitor!!!

(They fight for a while. Then, suddenly, Heero feels an inexplicable love for Pokemon. He feels ready to sacrifice his life in order to further their cause. These irrational thoughts confuse him, but he can't stop loving them. Then the Zero system kicks in, and it all stops. Heero notices something)

Heero: That ship they're coming from. It's giving off some kind of signal!

(Heero quickly dispatches all drones in the way, and destroys the Pokeball with his Buster Rifle. Trowa regains sanity)

Trowa: Ow, my head. What was that?

Heero: We’ve cleared a path. Let’s get back to the ship before we’re spotted.

(They get back on the ship and fly off. In the background, the planet explodes. They stare at the debris of their home)

Ryo: My truck...

Trowa: I knew I should have brought my shells along.

Heero: (Heero has a very deep and sad/angry look in his eyes) ……….So Trowa, what happened out there?

Trowa: I don't know. I couldn't control myself.

Dr. J: My sensors picked up psychic waves coming from that ship.

Heero: Dr. J, this "ship" doesn't have any sensors.

Dr. J: I meant the ones in my brain! How else do you pick up psychic waves?

Heero: …yeah, I felt something too. But it stopped suddenly. Why?

Dr. J: Must've been the Zero system. That does all kinds of things to your brain!

Heero: Psychic powers, huh? What else can they do?

Dr. J: Spew fire, electricity, water, cold, stimulate plant growth, such things.

Heero: How the hell can we defend against that?

Dr. J: I've been working on a new shield system. I should be finished with it very soon. When I’m done, I’ll install it in your Gundams.

Ryo: We wouldn't have any problems if I could summon my armor.

Heero: We’ll deal with all of this later. For now, let's just get this ship to the nearest junkyard before it depressurize and implodes.